Attachment Style
How do you love?
12 questions to reveal how you bond, what you fear in relationships, and the attachment pattern beneath it all.
I worry that people I love will leave me.
What attachment style describes
Attachment research looks at how people behave when a relationship gets close, and it organises that behaviour along two axes: how much anxiety closeness produces, and how much you pull away from it.
Four patterns come out of those axes. Secure sits low on both. Anxious runs high on the first. Avoidant runs high on the second. Disorganized scores high on both at once, which is more common than the name makes it sound.
A style is a pattern, not a verdict. It shifts between relationships and it shifts over years, which is one of the better supported findings in this area.
How it works
Twelve statements. You rate how true each one is of you rather than picking one option out of four.
Each statement loads onto the anxiety axis or the avoidance axis, and some are reverse scored, so agreeing with everything does not push you toward one end.
The style you get is where you land on both axes together, not a box you were sorted into.
Common questions
- Is this a clinical assessment?
- No. It is a self-report quiz written for reflection. If your relationship patterns are causing you real distress, that is worth taking to a therapist rather than a quiz.
- Can my style change?
- Yes, and this is one of the findings the research supports most clearly. Patterns move with the relationships you are in and with time.
- I got disorganized and it worried me.
- It means you scored high on both anxiety and avoidance at once. That combination is common, and the label describes a pattern rather than a disorder.
- Why twelve questions?
- Enough to place you on both axes with some confidence, and few enough that the quiz does not turn into paperwork.